Give thoughtful wedding gifts without breaking your budget
When friends and family start getting married, the gift bills add up fast. These six etiquette-backed guidelines help you give thoughtfully without going broke.
You’re so lucky that you have such a large, loving family and so many wonderful friends! But when they start getting married, you may express your happiness for them out loud but secretly tense up over what it means to your wallet.
Billshark to the rescue! Here are six things to keep in mind before you go shopping for the happy couple:
1 No Rule to Match the Dinner Cost
There is NO rule that says you must spend as much as the dinner cost. Some even think the rule says to spend twice as much as the couple paid per plate. First, how are you supposed to know what each meal costs?
Second, what if they threw a barbecue in the back yard that cost under $10 per guest? Does that mean you should give a gift under $20? No one knows where this belief originated, but etiquette experts say it’s a fallacy.
2 No Rule to Buy From the Registry
There is also NO rule that you must buy a gift from the couple’s wedding registry. Nor are you required to participate in the latest trend of funding the couple’s honeymoon or house down payment, a practice many respondents to various surveys have called “tacky.”
3 No Rule to Go Broke or Borrow
Finally, there is absolutely NO rule that you must either go broke or take out a loan to meet someone’s expectation of what you should give in the way of a wedding gift. In fact, etiquette experts say just the opposite: You should buy the couple something you can afford, that is both thoughtful as well as something you’d like to receive yourself. In this case, creativity beats money hands down.
“Your gift should always be within your personal budget. You decide based on your connection to the person getting married, your own gift-giving style, desire, and generosity in that moment and what’s feasible for you to do.” — Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-host of Emily Post’s “Awesome Etiquette” podcast, to CNBC’s Make It.
That said, here are some general guidelines for giving wedding gifts:
4 Start With Your Overall Wedding Cost
Start with your overall cost for the wedding. If you’re part of the bridal party, you may have shelled out a considerable amount for a dress/tux, hair/makeup, travel expenses, and other incidentals. In that case, a token gift may suffice, or even no gift at all if it’s a destination wedding. In the latter case, your presence is your gift to the couple.
5 Consider Your Relationship to the Couple
If it’s your sister or best friend, you’ll want to spend more than on your second cousin’s daughter, or your boss’s son. If it’s your favorite niece and you desperately want to be there but cannot attend the wedding, you may want to get her a more generous gift. If it’s the son of your mother’s neighbor and you won’t be attending the wedding, send a nice card with your hearty congratulations and best wishes for their happiness.
6 Stick to Your Budget
Do not charge a wedding gift unless you can pay it off when the next bill comes. And never dip into your emergency savings unless you know you can replace it after your next paycheck. When considering the cost of a wedding gift, also factor in how many other weddings you’ll be attending in the coming months, as well as other expenses that may be looming (car inspection, tax bill, etc.)
Billshark realizes the conflicting pull of emotions that can arise when it comes to buying wedding gifts. But the best gift you can give yourself, whatever the occasion, is the peace of mind that comes with knowing you’re in good financial shape.
And if you need extra funds for this or any other purpose, be sure to let Billshark review your bills for free. We could save you hundreds of dollars or more, and remember you don’t pay unless we can save you money.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to spend as much as the wedding dinner cost?
No. There is no rule that says you must spend as much as the dinner cost, and some people wrongly think you should spend twice as much as the couple paid per plate. Etiquette experts say this is a fallacy. You also can’t realistically know what each meal cost, and a backyard barbecue could be under $10 per guest, so matching the plate price makes no sense.
Do I have to buy a gift from the couple’s wedding registry?
No. There is no rule that you must buy a gift from the couple’s wedding registry. You are also not required to fund the couple’s honeymoon or house down payment, a newer trend that many survey respondents have actually called “tacky.” Choose something thoughtful that fits your budget instead.
How much should I spend on a wedding gift?
According to etiquette expert Lizzie Post, your gift should always be within your personal budget. You decide based on your connection to the person getting married, your own gift-giving style, your desire and generosity in that moment, and what is feasible for you to do. Buy something thoughtful that you can afford and that you’d like to receive yourself.
Does being in the bridal party change what gift I should give?
Yes. If you’re part of the bridal party, you may have already spent a considerable amount on a dress or tux, hair and makeup, travel, and other incidentals. In that case a token gift may suffice, or even no gift at all if it’s a destination wedding. For a destination wedding, your presence is your gift to the couple.
Should I charge a wedding gift to my credit card?
Do not charge a wedding gift unless you can pay it off when the next bill comes, and never dip into your emergency savings unless you can replace it after your next paycheck. Factor in how many other weddings you’ll attend in the coming months and other looming expenses, such as a car inspection or tax bill, before you decide what to spend.
6 Ways To Avoid Going Broke On Wedding Gifts page context
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Learn 6 etiquette-backed ways to save on wedding gifts without going broke: skip the registry rule, set a budget, and dodge debt.
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When friends and family start getting married, the gift bills add up fast.
You’re so lucky that you have such a large, loving family and so many wonderful friends!.
Billshark to the rescue!.
There is NO rule that says you must spend as much as the dinner cost.
Second, what if they threw a barbecue in the back yard that cost under $10 per guest?.
There is also NO rule that you must buy a gift from the couple’s wedding registry.
Finally, there is absolutely NO rule that you must either go broke or take out a loan to meet someone’s expectation of what you should give in the way of a wedding gift.
Start with your overall cost for the wedding.
If it’s your sister or best friend, you’ll want to spend more than on your second cousin’s daughter, or your boss’s son.
Do not charge a wedding gift unless you can pay it off when the next bill comes.
Billshark realizes the conflicting pull of emotions that can arise when it comes to buying wedding gifts.
And if you need extra funds for this or any other purpose, be sure to let Billshark review your bills for free.
No.
According to etiquette expert Lizzie Post, your gift should always be within your personal budget.
Yes.
Do not charge a wedding gift unless you can pay it off when the next bill comes, and never dip into your emergency savings unless you can replace it after your next paycheck.
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